we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
