i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
