It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
