haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Randomize
