did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
