she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
