Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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