I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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