Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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