I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
