the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
