this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
