id be glad to
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
