Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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