You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
