do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
