her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
