your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
