after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
