Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
