Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
