I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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