Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
