totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
