two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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