You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I can't turn off my feet"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
