i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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