There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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