Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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