Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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