Nicole vs. Life
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
