I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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