you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
