We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
