i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
