Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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