So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
