will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
