ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
