Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
the raccoons are back...
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