I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
