i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
it glows. i had to have it.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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