I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
