Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
