The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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