one two three fourrrrnication!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
