I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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