Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
