we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
