he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
