last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Panties = found
Randomize
