Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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